Video Calling,
Without the Headache

What this guide covers

Video calling is one of the most meaningful ways older adults stay connected with family and friends who live at a distance. Seeing someone’s face, watching a grandchild’s expressions, waving hello — these things matter in a way a phone call doesn’t quite replicate. Research consistently shows that maintaining social connections, even through video calls, reduces the risk of chronic disease, supports cognitive function, and reduces feelings of isolation.

But getting started with video calling can feel confusing: which app? What if the other person uses a different phone? What if you accidentally disconnect? This guide answers all of those questions in plain steps.

Which app should you use?

The best app is the one that works on both your device and the device of the person you want to call. Here’s how to choose:

Step-by-step: making your first call

FaceTime on iPhone or iPad

1. Find the FaceTime app

   Look for a green square with a white video camera icon on your home screen. Tap it to open.

2. Tap the blue plus (+) button

   You’ll see it in the top right corner of the screen.

3. Type the person’s name

   Start typing the name of the person you want to call. They should appear in a list below — tap their name to select them. They must have an Apple device to receive FaceTime calls.

4. Tap “Video”

   You’ll see buttons for “Audio” and “Video.” Tap “Video” to start a video call. Your phone will start connecting automatically.

5. Wait for them to answer

   You’ll see your own face on the screen while it rings. When they answer, their face appears on the screen. That’s it — you’re video calling.

Zoom — joining a call someone sent you

The easiest way to use Zoom as a beginner is to join a call that someone else has set up. They will send you a link — usually by text message or email.

1. Tap the link in your text or email

   If you have the Zoom app installed, it opens automatically. If not, it will ask you to download it — it’s free from the App Store or Google Play Store.

2. Tap “Join with Video”

   A box will appear asking if you want to join with video. Tap yes.

3. Tap “Call Over Internet”

   When asked about audio, tap this option so you can hear and be heard.

4. You’re in the call

   You’ll see everyone on the screen. If you can’t hear anything, look for a microphone icon at the bottom of the screen — if there’s a red slash through it, you’re muted. Tap it to unmute yourself.

WhatsApp video call

1. Open WhatsApp and go to Calls

   Tap the phone icon at the bottom of the screen. Then tap the green phone-with-plus icon in the top right.

2. Find the person you want to call

   Search for their name or scroll to find them. They must also have WhatsApp installed.

3. Tap the video camera icon

   This starts a video call. The regular phone icon starts an audio-only call.

Setup tips that make calls actually work

When things go wrong — troubleshooting

Staying safe while video calling

Video calls are safe when you use them the same way you’d use a regular phone call — connecting with people you know. A few things to be aware of:

• Only accept calls from people you know. Unknown callers can appear on video platforms just as they can by regular phone. If you receive a Zoom or WhatsApp call from a number or name you don’t recognize, it’s fine to decline it — just as you would an unknown phone call.
• Never share your Zoom Meeting ID publicly. If someone else is hosting a Zoom call you’re joining, they should send you a private link. You should not share your personal meeting ID on social media or other public places.
• Be skeptical of video callers asking for money or personal information. Scammers do use video calls, including apps like WhatsApp, to run impersonation scams. If a video call is asking you for money, gift cards, or personal details — treat it exactly like a suspicious phone call. Hang up and independently verify through a known contact number. See our guide SM-003 on phone scams for the full picture.
• The camera can only show what’s in frame. You don’t need to worry about the camera “watching you” when you’re not on a call. The camera only transmits when you are actively in a call you have initiated or accepted.

Common mistakes

• Giving up after the first difficult call. The first call is almost always the hardest — there are settings to discover, lighting to adjust, and volume levels to find. After two or three calls it becomes second nature for most people.
• Not practicing before an important call. If there’s a family birthday, a grandchild’s event, or a special occasion coming up, make a quick test call the day before. That way the technical setup is handled in advance.
• Holding the phone at chest level. The camera is at the top of the phone. When you hold your phone at chest level, the other person sees the top of your head and the ceiling. Hold it up near face level or use a stand.
• Sitting with a bright window behind you. This makes you appear as a dark silhouette. Swap positions so the window is in front of you.
• Downloading extra apps or paying for features you don’t need. For personal calls, the free versions of all these apps are entirely sufficient. You do not need to upgrade to a paid plan for regular family calls.

Questions to ask your family before starting

• What kind of phone or device do you have — iPhone or Android?
• Which app do you already have installed that we could both use?
• Can we do a short test call this week just to make sure it works before we need it?
• What time works best for regular calls — can we make it a standing weekly thing?

Where to get more help

• Senior Planet from AARP — seniorplanet.org Free online classes on video calling, Zoom, and technology for older adults, taught by instructors who specialize in teaching seniors. Classes are held over Zoom — they’ll help you get set up.
• AARP’s Tech Help — aarp.org/home-family/personal-technology Guides on using FaceTime, Zoom, and other technology, written specifically for older adults.
• Apple Support — support.apple.com/facetime Official step-by-step FaceTime guidance from Apple. Available online and by phone (1-800-APL-CARE for Apple hardware and software support).
• Zoom Help Center — support.zoom.us Official tutorials for Zoom, including beginner guides and video walkthroughs.
• Your local library Many public libraries offer free one-on-one technology help sessions for older adults. Call your branch and ask what’s available.

What family members helping a parent should know

The most effective approach when helping a parent set up video calling is to do the first call together in person, then have them do the next call themselves while you’re still there as a backup. Watching it happen once is worth more than reading about it ten times.

A few practical things that help significantly: print a simple reference card with the four or five steps to start a FaceTime call and tape it near the device (we’d be glad to generate one for you — just ask). Add the family members they’ll want to call to their contacts before you leave, with photos so faces appear with the names. Set up a regular weekly call — consistency makes the habit stick and removes the activation energy of deciding when to call.

If a parent is resistant to video calling, the most effective bridge is usually a grandchild. A five-minute call with a grandchild demonstrating something — a drawing, a new toy, a piece of music — tends to convert skeptics faster than any amount of persuasion from adult children.

Related guides

Sources and last-updated date